Yes, ARFID Really Does Run in Families: Understanding ARFID and Family Dynamics in Eating Disorder Recovery
- Valerie Weesner PhD, HSPP
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
Have you ever heard the expression “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”? When it comes to ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), this saying often rings true.
Similar to autism and ADHD, ARFID has a high heritability rate, with research suggesting genetics may account for up to 79%. That means many individuals with ARFID are growing up in families where a parent, sibling, or caregiver also has ARFID—or long-standing patt
erns of restrictive or selective eating.
Because ARFID commonly shows up in family systems, family dynamics in eating disorder recovery requires more than focusing on just one individual. Understanding how ARFID traits interact within a household can significantly improve treatment outcomes for children, adolescents, and adults alike.
This blog explores:
How to recognize ARFID in more than one family member
Why ARFID can look different across family members
How ARFID traits interact at home
What this means for caregivers and treatment providers
We Don’t Exist in a Vacuum: ARFID Within the Family System
Who Else in the Family Has ARFID—and How Can You Tell?
Many families entering ARFID treatment quickly realize that more than one person struggles with food. Parents may self-identify as having ARFID, while others describe themselves as “picky eaters” or having lifelong food fears or sensory sensitivities.
Often, one parent will recognize ARFID traits in the other parent or in siblings. When ARFID goes unrecognized in caregivers, it can unintentionally shape the home food environment in powerful ways.
Parents who read the first chapter of Bridge the Food Gap: An ARFID Recovery Workbook frequently say, “Wow… that’s me.” Recognizing ARFID in oneself isn’t about blame—it’s about insight, compassion, and improving family-based eating disorder recovery.
ARFID Does Not Look the Same in Everyone
ARFID is a heterogeneous eating disorder, meaning it presents differently from person to person—even within the same family.
Some individuals may:
Feel intense fear or disgust around food
Have very little interest in eating
Fear aversive consequences such as choking, gagging, vomiting, or GI distress
Even when two family members share similar ARFID drivers (such as sensory sensitivity), their “safe foods” and avoided foods may be entirely different. This variability is important for families and providers to understand when supporting ARFID recovery at home.
How Do ARFID Features Interact in the Household?
Families with multiple individuals experiencing ARFID often describe becoming “short-order cooks”, preparing different meals to accommodate different needs. While this can feel exhausting, it also highlights how interconnected eating behaviors are within families.
Family members can influence one another in both helpful and unhelpful ways:
A caregiver may push harder due to concern or misunderstanding ARFID
Another may push less due to shared struggles or fear of distress
Parents and siblings may unintentionally model fear, avoidance, or disgust
Alternatively, they may model curiosity, effort, and recovery-oriented behaviors
When ARFID dynamics are acknowledged openly, families can work together to:
Normalize “trying” without pressure
Share tolerated foods as exposure opportunities
Support each other through anxiety and sensory discomfort
This collaboration is a key pillar of family dynamics in eating disorder recovery.
What Does This Mean for Caregivers and Treatment Providers?
Effective ARFID treatment requires understanding the entire family system.
Ideally, clinicians gather a thorough family history that includes:
Who else may have ARFID or ARFID traits
How meals are structured (or avoided)
Who prepares food and how decisions are made
Who is motivated—or hesitant—to engage in food-related change
Including caregivers in treatment—especially those who may struggle with ARFID themselves—can significantly improve outcomes. Even when not all family members can attend sessions, acknowledging their impact on the eating environment matters.
How Does This Apply to Me or My Family?
Whether you are an individual with ARFID or a caregiver, reflecting on genetics, upbringing, and home environment is an important step in recovery.
Parents with ARFID can benefit from their own support while also:
Modeling coping skills
Managing anxiety and disgust
Demonstrating what it looks like to “try”
Supporting their child’s recovery with empathy
Parents without ARFID may also need support—to manage stress, navigate mealtimes, and feel less alone in the recovery process.
Apples really don’t fall far from trees—but with awareness and support, families can grow together.
Final Thoughts on ARFID and Family Dynamics in Eating Disorder Recovery
If someone in a family is experiencing ARFID, there is an increased likelihood that another family member may share similar traits. The most important takeaway is this:
Recovery works best when everyone is supported—even if that support looks different from person to person.
One family member may deeply understand how hard recovery feels. Another may provide encouragement, structure, or accountability. Together, families can create an environment that supports progress, not perfection.
If you suspect that more than one person in your family may be dealing with ARFID, we encourage you to reach out. We would love to help you find an ARFID-informed treatment team and support your family’s recovery journey.
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